Friday, December 14, 2012

Trailer Park

Hey... let's watch some movie trailers:

Pacific Rim
This might be the most epic trailer ever made.

Guillermo del Toro directing Giant robots, kaiju, Jax from Sons of Anarchy, Charlie from It's Always Sunny, Stringer Bell from the Wire... and was that the voice of Glados from Portal? I'll be there opening day.
This looks like fun. Jason Stathom as Parker from the Donald Westlake novels. I've never read those so I can't speak to their faithfulness to the source material, but I'd be surprised if Westlake wrote a character who did so much karate. Anyway... cool trailer. I'll rent this for sure.

Nice animation, but no thanks. Even as a kid I would've thought this looked stupid. Do kids even like all these animated movies anymore, or are they as sick of them as I am? When I was a kid, I always preferred movies about real kids. I could pretend I was one of the Goonies. I can't pretend I'm some weird, super-deformed, plastic-looking freak, nor would I want to.

But then again, that's just me.

World War Z
If you read my blog you know I love zombie movies... but this looks bad. Not bad, maybe, but just not engaging. Anyway, it's a boring looking trailer. I have no interest. But I do like Brad Pitt so I'll keep an eye on it. 

Star Trek Into Darkness
Pretty epic trailer, but at the moment I still have zero interest in this. The first JJ Abrams Star Trek film wasn't Star Trek, and this one looks even less so. Maybe if I can divorce myself from the source material I can go into it an enjoy it on its own terms, but I dunno. I didn't just think the previous film was bad Star Trek, but bad sci-fi in general. Then again, I've seen worse, and I do like that Bennedict Cumberbatch guy, or whatever the hell his name is.

A Haunted House
This looks awful. I laughed.

Man of Steel
Another epic trailer, but I'm still unsure of how I felt about it.

Henry Cavill certainly looks the part and it is action packed which should be an improvement on that last Superman movie, but the costume looks weird and some of the lines sound odd... like when Pa Kent suggests that maybe Superman should've let that kid die. Huh?!

Anyway... nice looking trailer. Check it out. I sure hope it's good. Lord knows the world deserves to see a good Superman movie. I just wish it looked a little more... I dunno.. like Superman.

The Last Stand
Schwarzenegger came out of retirement to make this? I'll rent it, but only cause I'm a fan. Doesn't look too good, but it could be fun.

The Lone Ranger
Fuck you.

Tom Cruise sure needs a hit, but this won't be it. But it is a very cool trailer and it looks like a neat movie. If it gets great reviews, I'll go see it. If not, I'll probably still rent it. I like Sci-fi and I like Tom Cruise, no matter what anybody says.

But here's my advice for Mr. Cruise just in case he reads my blog: Do some supporting work in some good films by good directors and put the big budget action films on the back burner. Just my advice.

Gangster Squad
I'd love to watch a big budget gangster film about Mickey Cohen (starring Sean Penn no less!), but this doesn't look too good. Also... what's the appeal of Ryan Gosling. Can somebody explain that to me? Nice looking kid to be sure, but he's not a particularly good actor. Or maybe he is, but he's not a particularly engaging one in my opinion. Still... interesting trailers.

Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning
Is there a single person in a single scene of this trailer that doesn't look greasy? According to this trailer, this movie came out last month. Who knew? Would you believe I've never actually seen a Universal Soldier movie? I sure as hell ain't gonna start with this one. 

Les Miserables
Does this looks good? I'm not sure. I don't know the musical well enough. Nice visuals though, and that's a cool cast, but only a few of the voices actually sounded all that good. But boy do I love Russell Crowe, and I'd love to see him in a musical. How funny is that?


Mugato said...

Most of these look terrible. I laughed at the Lone Ranger one.

Justin Garrett Blum said...

Oh, darn--I missed this post.

Pacific Rim: I totally want to see this. If this movie isn't awesome, I'd be surprised.

Parker: I had no idea Parker was in a series of novels. So I guess this is another version of Payback but melded with some other stories. In any case, damn, I want to see this, too!

Epic: Ah, whatever. Doesn't look offensively puerile, but it doesn't look bad either.

World War Z: That was one loud trailer. Looks okay. I'll watch it someday if it doesn't get terrible reviews.

The Lone Ranger: I watched this trailer the other day. Why did that get under your skin so much? Because it's got Johnny Depp as a Native American?

Oblivion: This looks like it could be pretty neat.

Gangster Squad: I heard a joke recently claiming that Ryan Gosling never emotes. It's true. He has one expression that he uses for everything.

Les Miserables: When I was in New York a few years ago, I went to see this with my mother, my wife, and my wife's sister. Liliana and her sister loved it. My mother and I thought it was a complete piece of shit. Suffice to say, I have no interest in seeing this movie or even the trailer.