Sunday, April 29, 2012

Bottom Ten Blessed are the Geeks Videos

The other day I posted a list of my top ten most popular videos on youtube. Well, just to prove that I wasn't bragging and that it doesn't seem as though I'm trying to trick people into thinking all of my videos have over 80,000 views, I thought it might be interesting (or, at least, kind of funny) to post a list of my top ten least popular videos, along with my commentary. And just for the sake of fairness, I'm not including anything that was posted within the last month. I want this to be a list of things that have been unpopular for a long time.

Here is my bottom ten, from most "popular" to least:

10. The REAL Eye in the Sky that Watches us all
I'm not going to spoil the joke... but this is pretty funny. I dunno why nobody has watched. Maybe nobody likes Casino. I dunno.

9. The Greatest Captain American Hero
Screw you, internet! I don't care what anybody says, this is funny. This is a dumb little video I made where I edited together footage from the recent Captain America film alongside the theme song to that TV show The Greatest American hero. This is a really short, dumb video, so I don't want to tell you how much time I spent on this, but none of these videos are easy. Anyway... I wish more people had seen this, since I thought it was pretty good and I put way too much work into it.

8.  Christmas on Mars Review
I don't blame people for not watching this video. And of those 78, I wonder how many actually finished it. This was actually the first movie review video I ever put together, and it's pretty terrible. The audio sucks, the editing was bad, and the movie itself was a real piece of crap. I've gotten better since then. At least... I hope I have.

7. Ultimate Sitcom Intro 
Here's another video that for some reason I thought would be... well... if not popular, at least kind of funny, and hopefully enjoyed by more than 72 people! I had the dumb idea a while ago to edit together a bunch of intros from 80s sitcoms into one, ultimate into. It made me laugh, but nobody else cared. It's dumb to be sure, but it makes me laugh.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Some Movies I Turned Off

Here are some movies I recently didn't watch. I can't call these reviews, since these are movies I turned off after about halfway or just a few minutes. But saying that you turned off a movie after the first ten minutes is the most critical of all reviews, right?


I rented this because everybody loved it, and because my friend Justin told me that it was boring but worth watching just for Albert Brooks. I love car chases and I love Albert Brooks. What's not to like? Well... the first fifteen minutes or so of this movie. Maybe it got great after that, but I'll never know because I was so bored and annoyed by the main character that I switched it off and dropped the Netflix envelope into my mailbox. Maybe if I had started watching it after the mailman had come I might've finished it, but probably not. I'm pretty sure this was my first Ryan Gosling movie. Handsome guy, decent actor, but boy was his character boring. Have you ever met a person at a party and taken an instant dislike to that person? That's this movie. I just knew after meeting this main character that I had no interest in spending the next two hours getting to know him.

I never even got far enough to see Albert Brooks. Oh well.

Midnight in Paris
Another film enjoyed by Justin, but even more so by my friend Anna, the Television Lady. She adored this movie and said it was brilliant -- and, to be sure, so did everybody else who saw it, including the Academy Awards people, I think -- but I turned it off because it was annoying, the characters were the worst, and the whole thing just felt so phoney. This was just a bad script, in my opinion, with characters so lacking in depth that the should've worn TV shirts with descriptions like "pretentious jerk," "misunderstood artist," etc.

I just didn't like it, didn't find it charming, and didn't finish it. Sorry, Anna.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
I loved the first Mission Impossible film and mostly tolerated the first three sequels, but this sucked. At least... the opening bit did. I dunno what happened after the credits because that's as far as I got. Honestly, the first ten minute sequence that opened this film was so bad, so poorly directed, so awkwardly acted, and just so full of editing and pacing problems that I knew it was going to be a train wreck.

Also, it didn't help that I recently began watching the original TV series on Netflix a little while ago, and began to realize just how poorly the films stand up in comparison.

Fright Night
This was actually pretty entertaining! I stopped watching it because the Netflix disc started skipping about halfway through and stopped working. I could've had them send me a new disc, but it wasn't that entertaining. I'll watch it again when it comes on Instant. Maybe.

Not a movie, but a TV series. Lots of people told me it was funny. I think it's some kind of sketch comedy show. I watched the first two skits then turned it off because I didn't laugh once. It stars Fred Armisen, who most people will remember as one of those people who wasn't funny on SNL, and now he's not funny here. It seems to be some kind of comedy poking fun at quirky hipsters, made by quirky hipsters, for quirky hipsters. If you're the kind of person who's an adult who understands that there isn't really such a thing as a hipster, just desperate people clinging to whatever ironic affectations they can think up, you'll be as bored by this show as I was.

That got a little harsh there, sorry. I love hipsters, but this show isn't funny.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Top Ten Blessed Are the Geeks Videos

So I've posted a lot of videos here that I put together... but lord knows I'm not bragging. If you have iMovie and a as much free time as I do, you'd have made just as much junk as I did. Only better, because you're great. Anyway, I'm always fascinating to see which of my videos are watched and become popular and which aren't. To be frank, most aren't. But some get a decent amount of hits, so I decided to look into which are the top ten most popular, at least in terms of views on youtube. I figured I'd post the list here with my thoughts. Why not?

In order of least to most popular:

10. Santa Paws Review
Was I drunk when I did the voiceover for this? Anyway, this was one of my Christmarathon reviews where I did a different Christmas movie review every day during the month of December in 2010. I actually like this review so I'm happy to see it's one of my top ten most popular, although I did it early in my "career" so the editing could be a little tighter. And that voiceover... I was clearly drunk.

9. The Dana Carvey Show: Rich Little's One Man Easter Special
This was just something I uploaded from a DVD I have of The Dana Carvey Show. I had nothing to do with the creation, writing, or production of this clip, I just stole it and shared it with the world because it's one of the funniest things ever. I don't know why this doesn't have a million hits. I just rewatched it and I still laughed.

8. Planet of the Apes (2001) Review
Without a doubt, my biggest claim to fame on youtube is as that guy who reviewed all the Planet of the Apes films... and I'm fine with that. In fact, I love that. I put a lot of work into these videos so I was happy to see they were kind of maybe a little popular. I still get comments on these, and it's always fun. But, again, these were early videos so when I rewatch them, I get a little embarrassed by how poorly done they are.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Bondathon Part 18: A View to a Kill

Part 18 of my Bondathon review marathon: A View to a Kill, Roger Moore's seventh and final James Bond film. Not the best film in the series, but not the worst either... or maybe it is. I dunno. Lord knows it ain't too good.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Bondathon Part 16: Octopussy

Part 16 of my Bondathon review marathon: Octopussy, the thirteenth film in the officially produced EON Productions series, the sixth to star Roger Moore, and the 15th Bond film over all. This movie is really dumb, but totally awesome.

Bond Girls: Then and Now

This popped up in my Yahoo news feed this morning. Not a bad article, but hardly comprehensive since they only talk about maybe five actresses. I might have to do my own version someday. Anyway, it's still good fun. Check it out here.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Bondathon Part 15: For Your Eyes Only

Part 15 of my Bondathon review marathon: For Your Eyes Only, the twelfth film in the officially produced EON Productions series and the 14th Bond film over all. This is one of the great ones, and my personal favorite featuring Roger Moore.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Monday, April 2, 2012

Top Ten Songs by Eddie Money

I kind of did this video as a joke. But, then again, I kind of didn't: