Friday, October 14, 2016

Locker Room Talk = Plantation Talk

Admittedly, I'm not much of an athlete so I can't claim to have spent that much time in locker rooms, but I've spent enough time in locker rooms to have an idea of what goes on in there. Even more so, I'm an admitted degenerate so I have some concept on how men talk with one another when we think no women are present, and -- even more so -- I am something of an authority on how we think we are completely alone. I can honestly say I have never heard anybody talk about grabbing a woman by her pussy, nor have I ever even considered the possibility of such a thing taking place. Even when I'm alone, most of my fantasies involve women grabbing me.

To be clear: the problem isn't the use of the word pussy. I think it's safe to say most men use the word pussy. We use it frequently and reverently. That isn't an excuse or defense, we use it even knowing it's awful and that if any woman her us say it, she'd be less inclined to let us see hers. The problem is with what Donald Trump said he wanted to do to with it.  He wanted to grab it, which is offense to morals as well as science. You can grab a cock, but you can't grab a vagina.

But anyway: Locker room talk, which before the past couple weeks was something about which most men took some measure of shame, has now, somehow, become a defense for saying something awful, even when the person caught speaking was nowhere near a locker room. Locker room talk, in reality, isn't really as exciting as Trump and his cronies seem to think it is. It has actually been my experience that most locker room talk is highly unsexual and boring. After all, very few people want to brag about their sexual prowess after just showering with a bunch of other dudes.

So let's call Donald Trump's comments on that video what they actually are: Plantation talk. Comments like his aren't so much the kinds of brags you'd hear in a locker room, but so much matter of fact talk by rich, entitled white men who see women and minorities as their inferiors.

Would anybody be shocked to see an early kinetoscope of a slave owner saying something like, "Sometimes you have to grab a negress by the pussy"? Well yes, but only because the kinetoscope was invented in 1897, but you get my point.

Trump's comments -- or at least his defense of those comments as something all men say -- remind me of an anecdote about Richard Nixon. After the first day of filming his now notorious interviews with David Frost, his advisors suggested he attempt to lighten up on set and try to appear a little more fraternal with his interview and his crew. So he showed up on set and asked,  "So, David, did you engaged in any fornicating over the weekend?"

Even Richard Nixon would have been shocked by Trumps comments, and it's hard to argue Nixon isn't the lowest form of comparison any person could make to a GOP candidate for president.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

In Every Generation...

 This is actor Robert Conrad

 This is actor Art Hindle

 This is actor Larry Manetti

This is actor Misha Collins

Somebody explain to me how these aren't all the same person? Is he a Highlander? Is there a Robert Conrad gene? I need to understand how this can happen. Are there others?

Hot Wheels: The Movie!

Forget about the presidential debate, I've got some REAL news to discuss: Mattel is producing a Hot Wheels movie. And, no, this will not be a blog post mocking this idea, but one enthusiastically applauding it for one reason: It's going to be directed by Justin Lin.

Justin Lin, of course, is the beloved, adored, and highly acclaimed (by me, anyway) director of such films as Better Luck Tomorrow, Star Trek: Beyond, the third thru six Fast and Furious films, and several episodes of HBO's True Detectives. That's a legit resume, and even if you scorn the Fast and Furious movies, at the very least you have to admit they made a lot of money and that they feature cars that go fast. Those cars, of course, were all very hot and had wheels, making him the perfect choice.

There are no story details as of yet, so one can only guess as to what this film will actually look like. Will it be live action or CG? Will it feature fill size cars or little toy cars? Will they have human drivers or be autonomous? Will he cast long-time collaborator Sung Kang, who is the Robert DeNiro to his Martin Scorsese?

All of these questions will be answered soon enough, but no matter what I'll be there opening night. (Unless I kill myself first.)