Friday, September 27, 2013

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Grand Theft Auto V

Here's my first impression of Grand Theft Auto 5: Spending twenty minutes (so far!) watching the mandatory install. Remember when you used to just buy a game and play it as soon as you got home?

Monday, September 16, 2013


Here's a movie I watched.

I actually watched this a couple weeks ago, I think, and couldn't remember if I had posted a review of it hear or not. That's probably because I barely remember watching it. I seem to remember Tom Cruise in a little space ship, a post apocalyptic Earth, and some naked chick in a swimming pool... but other than those fleeting images, it's mostly a blur.

Basically, if the producers wanted a quote from me to put on their movie poster, it would say something like, "Oblivion is a movie."

And, you know, it's a decent movie, so far as these things go. It had some neat ideas, some nice visuals, and a consistent mood and tone throughout. That mood was boring and the tone was bland, but at least it was consistently boring and bland. There were some good action set pieces here and there, a couple twists and turns to the story line, and some cool special effects... at least at the beginning of the film. Toward the end it looked as though the budget got cut or something and most of the CG effects looked like a bad videogame.

The story was about... I dunno. Tom Cruise and some woman who's name I can't remember (neither the actress nor the character) are assigned with the task of staying on Earth after a mass exodus after an alien invasion left the planet an irradiated wasteland. Their job is to maintain the drones that fly around killing the aliens still on the planet, and to fix any problems with the reactors that are terraforming the planet back to a state where it will be inhabitable again to humans.

Or something. That's the basic premise -- and it's a pretty cool one -- but there are twists and turns to the story that make it about more than just that. Although, to be honest, I had to look up the plot summary on Wikipedia to double check what actually happened toward the end of the film, because by that point I was lost. I honestly can't say if I was lost because I was too dumb to follow along, if the film was too poorly constructed to make its plot clear and easy to follow, or if I just wasn't paying attention. Probably mostly that last one, since I do remember getting bored after the first few hours and cleaning my apartment while keeping the movie on in the background. I'm pretty sure it's about six hours long, but that might be an exaggeration.

The cast was good. I like Tom Cruise and he did a good job. I also can't remember his character's name. I think maybe it was Jack Reacher or Maverick, but, again, I could be wrong about that. He spends most of the movie alone, flying around the abandoned planet, looking around forlornly at the scenery, occasionally shooting something, and even has a pretty cool fight scene later on. Tom Cruise is a very good actor, and he does a good job standing around looking thoughtful.

There were also other actors in the movie. There was the naked lady in the pool, who was quite lovely but her performance was intentionally cold and distant, so it was hard to care about her. There was another lady who did stuff, but I can't remember what, and she ultimately served no real purpose. Morgan Freeman also makes an appearance, and I know a lot of people who told me they kind of want to see it just for him, and I've told them all he's in the film for maybe ten minutes top. No joke. He was good, but he's not really a main player. Nor is that guy who plays Jamie Lannister in Game of Thrones. He was in there for maybe five minutes.

So, anyway, that's Oblivion, which I give credit for being an attempt at a thoughtful, idea-driven sci-fi film. It's just too bad it wasn't that great, and was actually kind of boring. But if you like sci-fi movies, it's worth watching maybe. It was ok.

This was the most pointless review I've ever written.