Thursday, March 29, 2012

Total Recall Teaser

So unless I'm mistaken, this is just a trailer for the upcoming trailer for the upcoming remake of Total Recall. Weird. As a trailer for a trailer, it's got me intrigued. This certainly looks like it's going to be a pretty awesome trailer. I'll be sure to tune in on Sunday... wherever.

Anyway, looks cool.

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Three Musketeers

I don't have much to say about this movie, other than that I liked it. It was a lot of fun, had some really cool action sequences, assembled a great cast, and was never boring, but I can't in good conscience recommend since it was also pretty dumb and not likely to be enjoyed for people who aren't me.

This is about the millionth film retelling of Alexandre Dumas's beloved novel, and while it wasn't the most faithful adaptation, it wasn't the steampunk epic the trailer made it look like. There were some dirigibles and a few weapons that were anachronistic, but all in all it was still a straight period piece... except for when it wasn't, I guess. I've read a lot of reviews criticizing the steampunk elements, but my only real comment was that this film didn't go far enough in that direction. If you're going to do steampunk, do steampunk. I expected a lot less restraint from the same direction who brought us Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat, and Alien Vs. Predator.

Did I mention that this was a Paul Anderson movie? If you know who he is, you've already made up your mind about whether you'll see this or skip it. If you don't know who he is, you probably won't like this, because his oeuvre isn't one that should be stumbled into. The man makes movies that are big, loud, and dumb, and he's not ashamed or embarrassed to embrace that fact, nor am I ashamed or embarrassed to admit that I... well... I can't say I love them, but I see them all and come away mostly entertained, but I'd be lying if I said they couldn't all be a little better. He makes the kind of movies I would want to make if I was a director, but I'd hope if I was a director I'd make them a little better than he does.

For one thing, he doesn't care much about crafting stories that are the least bit coherent, let alone clever, witty, or of any real depth. This film happens to be based upon one of the greatest novels ever written, so at least it has that to fall back on. As I said before, there have been countless adaptations of this novel, and because it is so good already, none of them are bad, even if few of them have truly been great. It's nearly impossible to film a version of this story with these characters and not have it be entertaining. This film has the same basic story from the novel, only with a lot more explosions and one liners.

Anderson somehow always manages to assemble fantastic casts, and this film is no exception. Orlando Bloom might be the most famous name on the poster, and he is a lot of fun as a scenery-chewing villain. Bloom was so much fun as the Duke of Buckingham he actually managed to steal most of his scenes from fellow villains Christoph Waltz as Cardinal Richelieu and Mads Mikkelsen as Rochefort. But they were both a lot of fun too.

Our Three Musketeers were played by Ray Stevenson as Porthos, Matthew MacFayden as Athos, and Luke Evans as Aramis. Of the three, Stevenson was the only one I'd ever heard of, but the other two looked vaguely familiar. They were all great, but Stevenson was my favorite, since he played the same role he plays in everything, which is basically just a big tough guy who beats people up and tells jokes. Another actor I've never heard of played D'Artagnan, and he was also a lot of fun, but not so great that I feel like looking up his name on the IMDB. And Paul Anderson's wife Milla Jovovich plays de Winter. She's very lovely, and if she was my wife I'd put her in my movies too, even though very lovely is the highest praise her acting ever seems to get.

And that's really all I have to say about that. If any of this sounds like fun, that's because it is. But if any of this sounds dumb, that's because it is. But who says that dumb movies can't be fun? If you like the Three Musketeers and want to watch a very funny, very action-packed retelling of that classic story, check this one out. It's fun.

Happy Birthday, Leonard Nimoy!

Of course it is illogical to commemorate a date that is only significant for marking the anniversary of one's birth, perhaps the single moment of one's life for which he or she cannot accept any credit at all, but since we here at the blog are human, we are going to indulge ourselves by wishing a happy and healthy birthday to a great actor, artist, and humanitarian. Today is Leonard Nimoy's birthday, and we hope it is just the 81st of many more to come, as he continues to live even longer and prospers even further.

Celebrate his birthday by enjoying this scene, featuring one of the all time great moments ever caught on film:

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Happy Birthday, Timothy Dalton!

Timothy Dalton turns 68 today. Dalton has a long, distinguished career, but he is still an underrated, unappreciated actor who's roles include James Bond, Rhett Butler, Marc Antony, Julius Caesar, Allan Pinkerton, Edward Rochester, Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, and Mr Picklepants from Toy Story 3. And, of course, that doesn't include his even more impressive career as an Shakespearean trained stage actor.

Honor the man's birthday by renting The Beautician and the Beast.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Site Redesign

Why not?

For a while now I've been thinking about changing my blog's logo, because I've been growing uncomfortable with having William Shatner's picture up there. I don't mean to say that I don't like William Shatner nor that I don't enjoy looking at his face all the time, but that the idea of having a living celebrity associated with my website maybe isn't the most honorable or smartest thing to do. So... new logo, and while I'm at it, a shake up to the design.

I'll probably change it a few times over the next week or so as I try new things and tweak some ideas. Any ideas, thoughts, suggestions, or complaints are always welcome.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

An Open Letter to Turbo Tax

Dear Turbo Tax,

Please stop sending me emails (about one every two or three days) reminding me to do my taxes to the same address that I have on file with the Turbo Tax account where I already finished my taxes over a month ago.

I don't know much about computers, but I know there's a way to sort accounts so you don't send people reminders to do their taxes after you already helped them complete their taxes.

That's all,

Donald W. Pfeffer

In Memoriam: Gaius Julius Caesar (October 100 BC - March 15th 44 BC)

A moment of silence for Gaius Julius Caesar, who was either a man, a god, a tyrant, a general, or a king, depending on who you ask. Anyway, he was assassinated 2,056 years ago today.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


This is probably the dumbest video I've ever made: I took the theme song to the film Halloween and put it over scenes of Lionel Richie stalking that blind girl in the video for his song Hello. I didn't have anything to do with John Carpenter's film, his theme song, or Lionel's lovely song, but I like both and just thought this would be funny.

Friday, March 2, 2012

90s Music Video of the Week: Interstate Love Song

Maybe the coolest rock song ever written, from one of the coolest rock albums ever made: