Friday, June 28, 2013

Trailer Park

It's 6:00 on a Friday morning. Nothing else to do but watch some movie trailers:

Hell Baby
Boy, this don't look too good, but all the scenes with the two guys from Reno 911 as Italian priests had me cracking up. Watch the trailer for them, but other than that... meh.

Neil Jordan makes another epic vampire movie. This looks really good, but I'll never see it.

The Wolf of Wall Street
New Martin Scorsese movie. Sure. I'm not really interested, and I can't tell if this is a drama or a comedy. I just know I wish he was making movies about the mob. Everything else he does is boring. Yeah, I said it.

Is this a real movie? Forgetting the fact that it looks awful, Anna Kendrick as a movie star? Not gonna happen.

Europa Report
Wow, the special effects and attention to scientific detail in this film are amazing, but this looks boring as shit. 

Prince Avalanche
Could anybody watch this trailer and think this movie looks the least bit appealing?

A movie about Princess Diana. Sure, why not? Personally, I couldn't care less.

Delivery Man
Is this even a trailer? What's the plot of this movie. I don't understand.  A lawsuit for what? Because he donated sperm? That's not a thing that could happen.

Killing Season
John Travolta is Abraham Lincoln: Serbian Terrorist.

Somebody should make a movie starring Elijah Wood and Tobey Maguire. It could be called "Why were we Allowed to be Movie Stars Again?" Anyway, Elijah Wood as a serial killer. Meh. They should've just rebooted the Maniac Cop series instead.

Anchorman 2
I'll admit, I didn't really get the first Anchorman movie, but at least it had some jokes. This trailer has no jokes. Seriously. Point out one joke. One freakin' joke. 

Fuck you.

300: Rise of an Empire
Boy... not a good day for trailers. 

The Colony
Laurence Fishburne and Bill Paxton save the day! Don't get me wrong, this doesn't look good. In fact, it looks terrible. But, you know. I like those two and I'm glad they're working.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Trailer

That's the title they went with? What does that even mean? Is Smaug desolate? Has he created desolation? Is he going be be desolated? None of those uses of the word really make much sense.

But, anyway, here's the trailer... and it's pretty cool, even if a good 75% of the scenes shown are in no way taken from the novel: