John Tucker Must Die

Yeah, I watched this one too. Before I talk about that, let me talk about this: Back in the early 90s, when I was living in Europe, I saw a movie called "The Pope Must Die," starring British comedian and character actor Robbie Coltrane as the newly Jeelected Pope. When it was released in the United States, the title was changed to "The Pope Must Diet." That's just funny. That right there was funnier than anything in The Pope Must Die, which was funnier than anything in John Tucker Must Die. But enough about that.

John Tucker Must Die shouldn't have its title changed to John Tucker Must Diet. It should have it's title changed to John Tucker is Awesome, because the titular character -- and the performance by Jesse Metcalfe -- is the only reason to watch this otherwise forgettable, stupid movie. I only watched it because it was a Monday morning, I had the day off, and it happened to be on FX. I kind of liked it, but I can only recommend it to people who have the day off and it's the only thing on TV.

This movie is ostensibly about a group of girls who all had their hearts broken by John Tucker, the school's biggest hunk and all around player. They hatch some wild scheme where one of their friends gets him into a relationship so they can break his heart and get their revenge. Got that? None of it works, however, and whenever they try to humiliate him, he turns it around and embraces it and makes whatever works for him. Like the bit where they tried to humiliate him by having him walk around the halls in a thong (don't ask). Instead of being made into a joke, wearing thongs became the new cool thing to do because all of the guys worship Tucker. I liked this kid and laughed at his antics.

I suppose that is a detriment to the film since the women are supposed to be the heroes -- I think -- but none of their characters were all that engaging (although they were all very pretty) and their plans were stupid. Honestly, so this guy broke your heart. He's the school player. Own up to your own culpibility in dating somebody like that and move on!

 And at the end of the movie, nobody really learned anything or changed all that much. The nerdy girl was now popular, I guess. Luckily, Tucker stayed the same. He had some scene where he admitted that he finally learned how to love, but at the end they showed him hook up with two (!!) chicks he was obviously going to bang. Still, cute movie. I laughed.