Planet of the Apes Week finally gets to Tim Burton's "re-imagining" of the original concept. Here is my review:
Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Movies, TV, Comics, Games, and all things Geeky.
Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Movies, TV, Comics, Games, and all things Geeky.
9 comments:
Okay, so I've never seen this one, and I probably never will. What was the twist ending?
For some reason I thought I saw this with you in the theater.
Ok... you really want to know the twist ending to the remake of Planet of the Apes?
WARNING
Ok... so Mark Walberg's character gets back to his escape pod (I won't tell you how that happens, because it's too stupid) and flies back into space, through the time warp that sent him to this planet's past... or future... or whatever. It's really complicated. Anyway, he flies back to Earth and crash lands in DC, right at the steps to the Lincoln Memorial. When he gets out and looks up... he sees that the statue of lincoln is actually a statue of an ape! And then some cops come and they're all apes too!
It makes no sense.
What is that? Some sort of backwards-through-time paradox like in the last episode of TNG? heh.
Yeah, that's stupid.
I have attempted to watch this movie many times, but I can't get past the first half hour. Mark Wahlberg is just soooo bad. I actually get embarrassed and have to change the channel. Also It's not believable that a person with a nasty Boston accent is intelligent enough to be on a space mission.
....just read twist ending. Hilarious. So, he ends up on alternate Earth in which Abe Lincoln was actually Ape Lincoln??
Ape Lincoln. Good one.
It's actually worse than that. The statue is actually supposed to be of Tim Roth's character, not just some random ape. How that happened I have no idea.
marky mark has been good in other movies (not an awesome actor but decent at times) I've never seen a more wooden performance, he could try out to play an Ent or something.
Plus he isn't even slightly surprised about talking apes when he lands on the planet!?!?!
in the original french book the "ape planet" isn't earth , its a planet 350 years away from earth. The astronaut goes there and is all like 'yikes" and he goes back to Earth (which takes him another 350 years) but by the time he gets there the Apes have taken over!!! OOPS!!!!
so i guess this ending is sorta like that ...but not really because at least the book explained it and isn't totally random.
also Marky Mark was on the Stern show and said the Zira analog character was hot and looked like Janet Jackson. I don't think he meant it to be racist but he really is that dumb and doesn't know you shouldn't say black people look like monkeys (even hot monkeys)
You know...she _does_ look like Janet Jackson.
It's the nose.
Tim Roth was amazing in this and it was the first time the superior strength and agility of apes was showcased.
The lame excuse for the ending that I've heard was that somehow Roth's ape escapes from the room he's in, they find and power up another space capsule (there were several from the beginning of the show) and, as it was set to go back to Earth, he and several other apes took them back to Earth, were shot through the time portal but sent farther back in time, to a point where they could take over the planet.
Lame but not out of bounds for this franchise.
BTW, in the French book, it was supposed to be a racial commentary against Africans, specifically Algerians, taking over France.
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