RIP Richard Griffiths 1947-2013)

I don't know much about the recently departed actor Richard Griffiths other than that he was in one of the funniest moments and movie history. Let's watch that moment right now:

The Wolverine Trailer

The guys ahead of me in line at the comic book store today were talking about this trailer and saying it looked awful. You know guys in comic book stores. They don't like anything. Anyway, I just checked it out, and I think it looks pretty cool. I'll see it.

Check it out here.

The Dark Knight Rises

I actually liked this one.

I was surprised by how much I liked it, actually. Or maybe I was just surprised that I even liked it at all, considering how luke warm I was on the first of this trilogy, and how much I actively hated the second. But this one was good. I enjoyed it. I liked it. I was glad I saw it. It had something the first two films were lacking: It was actually kind of fun.

For the most part. I mean, it is a Christopher Nolan film, so it's still needlessly complicated, overwrought, overlong, and pretentious, full of odd plot holes and lapses in logic. But it is a Christopher Nolan film, so it's beautifully shot, has a great cast, tremendous production values, an epic story, and is interesting and unlike anything you've seen before. Well, unless you've seen the previous two Batman films, that is, since all three are basically remakes of the same story: Some Bad Guy wants to create chaos that will destroy Gotham City, and only Batman can stop him. Then again, that's the story of every Batman story, so that's not really a complaint.

So they're all the same story and they're all the same film. This just happens to be the first one that Christopher Nolan did right. That is to say, this is the first of his Batman films that actually sort of maybe has a character who in some small way bears a passable resemblance to some character from the comics named Batman. Sort of.

Midnight Snack

Baby Rosie Sees Herself in my Videocamera

Top Ten Best Lines by Quint from Jaws

I did this just for fun:

Upside Down Trailer

This is without a doubt the dumbest movie trailer I've ever seen:

Upside Down

I don't normally like to post things just to be mean or negative, but I just couldn't believe this was a real movie that actually got made. That's all.

More Movie Trailers

Whenever I'm bored, haven't done much else to write about, or just feel lazy, I watch and post my thoughts about trailers for upcoming movies. Don't expect this to take up much time, because I sure didn't find many worth sharing:

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
This isn't a real movie, right? There's no way this is a real movie. I don't even just mean because the premise is idiotic, but because no studio could think any movie starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Artereton could be a hit. No offense to either of them who are both fine actors, but appearing in the Avengers doesn't mean you can open a movie... unless that movie opens on January 25th. Fair enough.

Anyway, while I was watching this trailer, I kept expecting Bugs Bunny to pop up and go, "Hansel?!"

Olympus Has Fallen
This isn't a real movie, right? There's no way this is a real movie. I don't even mean because the premise is so 1992, but because no studio could think any movie starring Gerard Butler could be a hit. No offense to Gerard Butler who's a fine actor, but... ah fuck it. Fuck you, Gerard Butler. I liked 300, but what has he done since? I'm certainly not gonna see this one.

A Good Day to Die Hard
This movie looks just as stupid as Olympus Has Fallen -- more so, even! -- but the Die Hard series has earned the right to be stupid, and they've been doing stupid for longer and better since before Gerard Butler was waiting tables at the Planet Hollywood in Melbourne.

Wait... is Gerard Butler Australian? Who cares.

Anyway, this looks dumb, but I'll at least rent it.

The Call
Don't watch this trailer because it looks like a totally by the numbers, generic thriller. I'm only posting it so I can ask this question: When did that little girl from Little Miss Sunshine turn hot?

Saving Lincoln
What the fuck is this? This literally looks like something that was filmed in front of a green screen then chopped together in two weeks to cash in on the popularity of that other movie about Lincoln. This has some good actors, but watch this trailer and tell me it doesn't look like the absolute worst movie ever made.

Scary Movie 5
Here's another trailer you shouldn't watch because, frankly, why would you? I'm only posting it so I can point out that Ashley Tisdale has finally reached the point in her career where she's playing a grown woman with a husband and a child. That just blew my fucking mind, man. She's still gorgeous.

But this movie looks almost -- but not quite -- as bad as Saving Lincoln, and it wins if only because it looks dreadful but not pretentious.

Oh... and this will be of interest to absolutely nobody else, but her husband is played by Simon Rex. Remember him?

Phantom
This doesn't look terrible, but it does sort of look like a made for TNT original movie. And that's fine, and I'll maybe rent it some day or at least watch it when it does come on TNT, if only because Ed Harris and David Duchovny are both cool. Maybe I'll even go see it if it actually opens in a theater somewhere, if only to support these two, both of whom probably need a hit. It'll be hilarious if this film went on to be the highest grossing movie of all time.

It could happen.

42
I'm torn. On the one hand, Jackie Robinson was a true American hero whose story is one of the most inspiring and indelible in our nation's history. On the other hand, this looks like a pretty mediocre movie. If it gets good reviews, I'll check it out because I like the man and I love a good baseball movie.

The Last Exorcism 2 / The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia
I didn't watch either of these trailers either, but -- again -- I have some questions and observations:

First of all... look at those posters. These are the same movie, right?

Second of all... how can you have a sequel to a movie called The Last Exorcism? They should've at least called it "The Last Exorcism 2: One More Exorcism" or something.

Third of all... how can you have a movie called "The Haunting in Connecticut" that seemingly appears to take place in Georgia? More importantly, why isn't the tagline for this movie, "The Devil went down to Georgia"? Missed opportunity.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Ok, this one made me laugh. I'm not going to go see it, but I might rent it maybe. Anyway, it might be the one trailer I posted that's worth watching.

 And that's all I got.

Columbo: Season One Review

I've officially watched every episode of Columbo that's available for instant streaming on Netflix, which includes almost -- but not every -- episode over the course of its seven seasons, after which it went into hiatus for over a decade and came back on a different network. So I can't say I've officially watch every episode of Columbo, since that would require tracking down the DVDs so I can watch the ones that are mysteriously left off of Netflix. But I did buy the first season DVD set the other day, so I can say I have watching every episode of the first season, as well as the two TV movies that preceded the series pilot.

Basically all I do lately is watch Columbo and then bore my friends by talking about it, so now I'm going to branch out and try to bore every body else who stumbles upon my blog by giving my thoughts on every episode from the original series of Columbo, and then my thoughts on every episode of every other season as I finally watch them all. This is what my life is now. I have become a Columbo watching machine.

Anyway, here we go:

Oh wait... just one more thing before we begin... I just wanted to point out that Columbo is the best detective show of all time, and front runner for being the best TV series of all time over all, at least among those that don't have "Star Trek" in their title.

Prescription: Murder (February 20th, 1968)
This TV movie was the first appearance of Peter Falk as Columbo, although the character had appeared before, first as a short story, then as an episode of a mystery anthology show featuring Bert Freed as Columbo, making him notable as the first actor to portray the character and that's about it. I suppose if I really want to claim to be a Columbo fan, I should track this down and watch it. I'll put it on my list stuff no reasonable person would ever want to do but I seem to do it anyway.

My Top Childhood Crushes

Well... my top childhood celebrity crushes, anyway, since nobody out there wants to hear me talk about Elizabeth from my third grade class at Naubuc School back in Glastonbury, CT. Anyway... here are the top crushes I remember most from the mid 80s to early 90s.

Why? Because I'm still in love with all of them. I was originally going to do this as a top ten list, but then I realized I couldn't arrange them in anything but a random order. They're all number 1.

Gina from Sesame Street

Forget about Gordon, that deaf chick, or all those three-ways between Bert, Ernie, and their rubber ducky, the real sex appeal on Sesame Street came from Gina. I don't really remember much about her character other than that every episode she appeared in was brought to you by the number 69 and the letters S. E. X.

According to Wikipedia Gina is still on the show... and she's called Dr. Gina Jefferson. Good for her!

Robyn Lively

You're going to notice a lot of redheads on this list. Well, there was never a hotter redhead than Robyn Lively. You remember her, right? She was the star of Teen Witch, she was Daniel San's love interest in Karate Kid III, and she appeared in at least one episode of every TV show ever made between 1984 and 1997. And to this day she still appears in my dreams.

Turns out she's the elder sister of current it girl Blake Lively. Those are some good genes! Hey... she's also the younger sister of Jason Lively, who played Rusty Griswold in European Vacation, so I guess those genes might be a little dirty after all.

In Memoriam: Conrad Bain (1923 - 2013)

 Goodbye, Mr D. You will be missed.

Monstro vs The Orca

Steven Spielberg has referenced Pinocchio (and other Disney movies) so many times in his films that I've always wondered if the escape from the whale Monstro had any influence on his chance from the shark in Jaws. Anyway, I've always just thought both scenes were great and thrilling and kind of similar, so I thought it would be fun to mash them together and see if it works.

This sequence originally appeared in my video review of Jaws, but I edited it slightly and expanded it a little here.